A funny thing happened on the way to school my toe started screaming in my sock.
As usual, I was late, so I ignored it hoping it would go away.
It is probably nothing, I shouldn't worry at all probably just a rock.
Once I get to my first class I will shake it out and everything will be okay.

Looking around nervously I hope no one notices as I peel off my shoe.
The cute brunette that sits two chairs over holds her nose and laughs at me.
I smile and I hope she's kidding looking down at my toes hue.
Apparently purple is not normal for the color of a toe that is suddenly free.

There is no rock, there is no bark, I have simply grown out of my kicks.
What a shame they were so cool red and green striped Nikes.
Oh well, I rationalize, at least I get a new pair maybe silver and gold in the new mix.
I'll be like one of the cool kids and put them on Facebook and hope for some likes.

My poor swollen toe gets shoved back into a sock then into its tiny dwelling.
All I have to do is get through the day and everything will be just fine by tomorrow.
I'm dreaming of the Nike store in Seattle, the big one, made of glass built for selling.
Sky has bigger feet than I do, got forbid my mom makes me borrow.

I literally limp through my day now both feet hurt together as a team.
I swear they are ganging up on me so I untie and throw away the laces.
I laugh it off knowing the big Nike store is not just a dream.
My shoes look ridiculous now I can see the pity on people's faces.

I make it through the day somehow, I'm very glad I live across the street from the school.
If we are going to make it 3:20 ferry my mom said we have to hurry.
I don't mind running to Seattle at all anything so I don't have to look like a fool.
We make it to the ferry on time as it pulls away from the shore I stop to worry.

What if we get all the way there and they don't have silver and gold in my size?
I guess I will just have to settle on something just south of awesome.
What am I thinking Nike didn’t get that huge store taking it eyes off the prize.
I will be happy as long as my new kicks aren't pink or flowered like a blossom.

My mother takes pity on my ridiculous feet situation and we take a cab there.
I must look really ridiculous we once walked 3 miles to go to a lunch in town.
As we arrive at the glass building of my dreams my mom pays our fare.
We walk inside the doors and a beautiful sporty woman begins to frown.

 

“What on earth have you done to our beautiful shoes?” she said.
I told her I had to take the laces out to fit my feet inside.
She sat me down and measured my feet and got deep inside my head.
“I've never seen anyone with wider feet,” she said and I almost died.

She said, “other than flip-flops Nike doesn't sell a single shoe that will fit you.”
I looked around the room and the other customers stared at my feet.
I actually thought about buying a pair of flip-flops because I didn't know what to do.
My mom just said “oh well there's a Ross dress for less down the street.”

My face turned purple and orange I had a vision of black velcro shoes for an old man.
We went to 10 more stores until the sun went down in the sky.
I walked all over Seattle when suddenly I had a new plan.
I wasn't going to settle for old man velcro shoes, there is another way to buy.

Grudgingly we got back on the ferry to go back home empty-handed.
For the first time I started comparing my feet size to the people around me.
As we got on the boat everyone kept looking at my ridiculous shoes and I felt branded.
I want kool shoes, colorful ones, made for people under 60, that was the key.

When we got home I popped on the computer and found my salvation.
The Internet will save me like it has so many times before, between Zappos and eBay.
There were so many choices my head swam with happiness and elation.
I bought two pairs, one for tennis, one for school, then I will have a whole cache.

Three days later they arrived with triple E super cool kicks in gray and black.
What did people with weird size feet do before the Internet?
I don't think I am popular enough to get away with the black velcro track.
I am going to covet these shoes and never get them wet.